REALLY? THAT’S what you’re upset about? That thing your mom said? Your decorations for the party? The wrong shoes Amazon sent you? What that person you don’t even really like thinks? What outfit you’re going to wear? Which color your new car should be? How many likes your last post got? The raise your coworker received? Which new phone to get?
Why are you spending the majority of your time and energy thinking, stressing, talking, and worrying about bullshit that really doesn’t matter?
My mom used to always say, “If it won’t matter in 5 years, it doesn’t matter.”
You have a finite amount of mental energy at your disposal. Every gigawatt you spend thinking about something pointless takes away from something important you COULD be thinking about. And thoughts are important. Thoughts become our actions! It’s critical to monitor and police our own thoughts so they only lead to the right kinds of actions. Because if you genuinely believe that you are a person capable of incredible things, and I promise that you are, then thinking about and doing pointless things becomes an ETHICAL decision. If you know you can change the world for the better, if you can improve lives, and instead, you decide to do dwell on the trivial, you are now making an ETHICAL mistake.
And when you get upset or stressed about shit that really doesn’t matter — about that person you don’t like being at the party or how the lady at Starbucks didn’t tell you thank you (or whatever) — your choice to focus on these trivial things is simultaneously a choice to forfeit your gratitude for just how great you have it. Because you really do have it SO great. If you’re reading this on a magical glowing screen, with functioning eye spheres, that you’re holding in a working hand, in a climate-controlled environment, while not starving, your life is amazing. It just is.
I am so utterly convinced that my life is ridiculously spectacular that other people who know me also take it for granted. Think about that: I know my life is so thoroughly incredible SO HARD that the idea projects on to other people who, in turn, believe it and take it for granted as fact. So much so that I get things like, “Well, of course YOU’RE happy — look how good you have it,” and “Must be nice to you.” And the reason this is totally bonkers is because I have cerebral palsy. I can’t walk. I need help bathing and dressing each morning. I need someone to help me wipe my ass. How many people say, “If I ever end up where I need help using the restroom or can’t care for myself, just kill me”? A lot! It’s really common. And even though that’s the exact state I’m living in every single day, one that many would rather DIE than endure, I know beyond any shred of doubt, down to the core of my soul, that my life is undeniably awesome. And because I know it so strongly, the people who know me cannot help but agree. They overlook all the stuff they think would ruin their lives if it were them because I overlook it. Because it doesn’t bother me.
I live a fantastic life because most the time — not always, but often — I avoid thinking about and getting upset about all the shit that really doesn’t matter. Because I need to focus on what’s important, and because I’m too grateful to give even a single fuck.