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Month: August 2022

Crippled CEO Blog #150: The Most Powerful, Cheapest Marketing

Crippled CEO Blog #150:

Most people have the wrong idea about marketing. That probably includes you. 

When you hear the word marketing, you probably think of ads on TV and on Facebook or Instagram or on billboards. You think of logos. You think about slogans. You think about website design.

And yeah, that stuff is part of it. But most of the time, the stuff you are thinking about as marketing is actually just advertising. And advertising is one small part of marketing.

Marketing is the entire process of trying to convince somebody to take an action. If it’s a business, that action is probably commerce. If you were a politician, that action might be getting people to vote for you. If you’re a nonprofit, it might be donations. And if you’re a mom, it might be getting your kid into that exclusive school you want her to attend.

Marketing is the entire story people have about your business. That story doesn’t come just from the advertisements you buy on Instagram. People‘s perception of your company is also driven by the quality of your products, the packaging that they come in, how fast your website loads, the charitable work you do for the community, and your reputation for underpaying your employees and treating them like garbage. Oh, that’s right — because marketing is everything you do that influences people’s stories about you in their head, that means you can market bad stuff to people as well. The way you treat your employees and how well you pay them is also part of your marketing — just like your logo is. 

I’ve said before that pricing is also part of your marketing. How much you charge influences the perception people have about your company, whether it’s good or bad. Are you seen as luxury/premium/high-end, a great value, cheap and crappy, or over priced? Your pricing, combined with everything else, determines this.

With this being said, it amazes me that companies can spend tens of millions of dollars on a Super Bowl ad, but then totally screw up what is simultaneously the cheapest and most powerful form of marketing that any business has.

I’m talking about your customer service.

Nothing has a bigger impact on the way people feel about you than your customer service.

Comcast spends over $100 million in advertising each year. What is your opinion of that company? I bet it’s terrible. And what is that based on? Certainly not the advertising. If it was their ads, you would love that. They spend a fortune on first class, top quality, professionally distributed advertising.

You despise Comcast because of the way they treat you. You despise Comcast because of their customer service.

I truly believe that if Comcast took their entire advertising budget for two years, stopped running ads entirely, and invested all of it into making every call in, email, or any other interaction a delightful experience that left customers amazed by their kindness, warmth, efficiency, and generosity, the word from that would spread like wildfire, and they would earn far more revenue than anything they are getting from the TV, Internet, and magazine commercials they are running right now. No question. 

Comcast is never going to do this. Because they are scared.

But you can. And the incredible thing about this, like I said, is that it’s not only the most powerful and most effective advertising, it’s also the least expensive. It’s way cheaper to go overboard for a customer or bend over backwards or throw in an additional surprise than it is to buy a billboard or a series of radio advertisements.

Giving out full refunds to people who probably don’t deserve them without batting an eye, having the phone, emails, and website chat answered by well-paid, friendly, capable people endowed with autonomy and power to help people generously and thoughtfully… this is the best marketing money can buy. This creates loyal, raving fans who will tell all their friends about you and will come back to you over and over again, even when you mess up, and even when you raise your prices.

Stop making customer service that thing you say you care about on your website, but treat as an after thought you try to put the bare minimum info to get by, and start thinking of it as the way that you are growing too grow your business in the smartest way possible.

Forget the ad on the park bench. Give the guy answering your phone a raise and a trip to Hawaii. That will get you a lot more work. I promise.

(Do you know who gave me some stellar service last night? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #149: Don’t be a Spork

Crippled CEO Blog #149:

I was enjoying some amazing French fry crusted triple tail snapper from the Food Shack food truck before an undisclosed concert at an undisclosed date and time when my good friend, Jennifer Gomez, said something profound. (Also, real quick, when does a friend become a good friend? How do I know that she thinks she’s a good friend? Or is she going to read this and think, “I mean, we’re friends, but I don’t know about GOOD friends. Who does this guy think he is?!” But then, what if I don’t call her a good friend, and she gets upset in the other direction? It’s very tricky. Anyways…)

I was talking about Jen saying something profound.

Oh! Real quick again! Jen is an awesome estate attorney. And I’m not just saying this because we are friends (good friends?). She really is. If you think you might die someday, you should really hit her up to make sure that you don’t totally blow it. I think www.JenniferGomez.com is the best way to reach her. 

Alright, back to Jen’s profundity…

I was struggling to stab my (incredibly delicious) fish with the spork that the food truck supplied when she said, “Sporks are evidence that everyone needs a niche.”

At that point, I rose from my seat and gave her a standing ovation.

Just kidding. I can’t stand. Or clap. But I would have. Because she was absolutely correct.

We have a tendency to think generalizing is the smart thing to do. If we can appeal to more people, then we can have more customers. For example, why would we want to sell a product that’s only for SOME parents, when you can offer something for ALL parents? Isn’t that better?

The issue is that if you try to appeal to everybody, you’re not doing a great job for anybody.

If you’re looking to hire a lawyer to set up your estate plan, are you going to pick a lawyer who kind of does everything, or a specialist like Jennifer Gomez who only does the thing you’re looking for?

If you were a real estate agent looking to hire a web designer, do you choose the company who serves everybody, or the web designer who only specializes in making websites for real estate agents?

Back to my parent example above, if you think appealing to all parents is better than some parents, then you would conclude that my business is a terrible idea.

Our product is only meant for parents and grandparents who have children under six years old. And not even ALL parents of kids under six — only parents who have a child under six, own their home, AND have a swimming pool. 

That is a very specific demographic.

But it actually gets even more specific than that. In addition to all of the above, you have to be the type of parent who understands the necessity of protecting their pool. AND, on top of that, we cater to the kind of customer who wants to pay more for higher quality and better service. In this already very specific target market, we have deliberately excluded even more people from buying from us.

At first glance, this seems really dumb. The percentage of people on Earth who can buy from us is so small.

But the reality is that if you fit that very specific description — if you have a 3 year old, own a home with a pool, want to protect it, and want to invest more to get the best, safest product, then Life Saver Pool Fence is the only choice that makes sense for you. And apparently, there are enough people who fit that description around the world to support over 100 people financially year after year, for 35 years and running.

You are far better off being the best and only choice for the kind of people you want to serve than being one of 1 million choices for everybody.

Listen to my (good?) friend Jen. She’s smart. Don’t be a spork. Sporks suck. Choose your niche and make it as specific as you possibly can. 

(Do you know who dominated her niche with me last night? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #148: Safe is Dangerous

Crippled CEO Blog #148:

Especially in business, we think it’s smart to make the professional, solid, safe choice.

We want the website to look clean and professional. We want it to remind us of other successful businesses.

The same goes for our company shirts. Polo shirt, logo over the left breast pocket. The safe choice, just like everybody else.

We hire the almost robotic sounding lady to do the voice work for our phone system. We are happy with how professional it sounds. 

Our business cards are safe, too. Name, logo, phone number. Nothing offensive that’s going to raise any eyebrows. 

Our promotional videos, our email signature, product packaging, brochures… they all look like a successful corporation should. Nobody who looks at them has anything bad to say.

We don’t just choose safe because we are afraid of failure. We choose to play it safe with all of these things because no one is going to criticize or shame us for it.

No one is going to say a negative word about your professional sounding automated phone system.

When your customer places an order, and they get back the standard order confirmation email, you are guaranteed not to offend anyone.

And that’s what we want. Because criticism makes us feel bad. No one wants to be shamed.

The problem is that not only are you guaranteed to not offend anybody, but you’re also guaranteed to not delight them either. There is a 100% chance that your standard order confirmation email doesn’t make them smile or laugh. There is an absolute certainty that your safe, professional brochure has virtually no impact whatsoever.

It turns out that doing the safe thing is safe for your ego, but it’s dangerous for your business.

The safe thing is guaranteed not to really do anything.

We have Morgan Freeman (or maybe a Morgan Freeman impersonator… that’s up to you to decide) on our phone system when you call the office. When you place an order with us, the automated email you get describes how the heavens opened up and angels sang when we received your order, and we have created a shrine to you, our favorite customer, which we kneel at every morning. We have a video about an Amish family with 50 children choosing our product to keep their pool safe from drowning. I’ve made company shirts that make the wearer look like Superman, complete with cape and six pack abs, with the famous S replaced by our logo. The two celebrity spokespeople that we have partnered with have been a UFC Heavyweight Champion who beats people unconscious for a living and a new mom who got Internet famous by using extra raunchy pickup lines to try to shag her guy. My email signature starts with “May the Force be with you.” This blog is called Crippled CEO and I end each one with a joke about banging your mom (even though your mom is no joke at all — she’s a freak). 

Not everybody likes all of those things. I’ve had my fair share of negative feedback and criticisms. And we do have a lot of things we do that are safe, boring, and professional. I’m trying to weed those out wherever I can.

Because while the safe choice has zero chance of winning, at least the risky or bold option MIGHT be successful, might be remembered, might earn a smile and some customer loyalty. It also might flop, but unlike safe and boring, at least it’s not guaranteed to do nothing. 

When you look at it like that, you realize that taking these risks is actually the only safe choice, because doing it the “professional” way is never going to give you what you want. 

Taking a chance on doing something bold and new is actually the wiser, more prudent choice, far less risky than the “safe” option — and it’s a whole lot more fun, too. 

Try it out. Take a risk. Do something fun and weird. I think you might be surprised.

(Do you know who was taking a lot of chances last night? Your mom. And her sister. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #147: The Genius of Food Shack

Crippled CEO Blog #147:

Little Moir’s Food Shack is my favorite restaurant in Florida. 

No — scratch that — in the world. 

They serve fish so fresh that each day a new, handwritten menu is printed out and distributed. The formula of delicious crusts around flaky fish over unique salads stays the same, but the ingredients change daily. 

Food Shack does not take reservations. On off nights, there’s a 30 minute wait. On busy nights, it can be over an hour. And despite that, my friends and I are still willing to drive an additional hour to go there and wait. That’s how good the food is. 

And part of the experience is the wait. You know it’s going to happen, so you’re not taken by surprise or upset when they let you know it’s going to be at least 45 minutes, leaving you to sit on benches or against the wall in the crowded strip mall corridor outside the front door. Oh, did I mention it’s in a strip mall? It is — a hidden gem, with barely a sign. You use that time to chat with your friends, to peruse the day’s handwritten menu and discuss what you should get, and maybe have a beer out on the sidewalk while you wait. 

When I learned that they were taking over the space next-door to the restaurant, expanding their footprint, I was giddy. More space meant more tables for people to sit at. This was it. Food Shack without the wait. I contemplated how the food quality would keep up, and part of me wondered if the experience would lose something, but I was still excited about not having to wait in the future, and the prosperity that should be in store for the proprietor, “Little” Mike Moir. 

But Mr. Moir is a genius. He didn’t use the space next-door to double the size of the restaurant and eliminate the wait. 

He created a waiting room.

Now, when they tell you about the hour long wait, they tell you to go have a seat next door and they will come get you when your table is ready. Connected to the main restaurant, the area next-door became a similarly themed tapas bar that sells drinks and very small plates — tasty snacks to hold you over and specialty beers and cocktails to wash them down with.

Mike Moir knew that he couldn’t continue to produce the high level of quality food if the output suddenly doubled. He also knew, I’m guessing, that he only wanted to serve the kind of customer who loved his restaurant so much that they were willing to wait an hour every time. And when you have a restaurant that’s so popular that it always has a long wait, and the people dining there are all huge fans, you can charge $30 for a generous portion of fish over a remarkable salad in a strip mall giving t-shirt and flip-flop energy to throngs of happy diners in Guy Harvey shirts and Rolex Submariners. 

So, if you can’t make the restaurant bigger, and the long wait is a necessary ingredient, then the truly genius thing to do is to make the wait more comfortable while simultaneously increasing your revenue per customer. He already had the people there. Now, he gets to make a lot more money off of them, and they love him for it. Why not serve them beer and snacks while holding them as happy hostages?

It’s genius. Truly. My hats off to you, Mr. Moir. I can’t wait to wait at your restaurant again. 

(Do you know who didn’t have to wait in line for an hour last night? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #146: The Pain of Seizing Opportunities

Crippled CEO Blog #146:

When Amazon went public, I knew it was going to be huge. I said I should invest. I told other people to invest. I didn’t.

If I had put $10,000 into Amazon when it launched, I’d have $9.9 million today. 

We all have stories like this — opportunities that we saw that we knew would work, but still didn’t act upon. 

Why do we do this?

Because the fear of change is greater than your desire for the opportunity.

At the time, I wasn’t a person who purchased speculative stocks. That wasn’t part of my identity. Going through the steps to do that would have been changing the story I told myself, changing a small part of my life and who I am.

This happens in business, as well. For the majority of our history, my company has exclusively sold to dealers who then resell to homeowners.

Around 10 years ago, a couple of companies outside of the industry started offering a DIY version of the product that was being sold online directly to homeowners.

We could have done exactly what all of our competitors chose to do, and decided that this wasn’t a part of who we were, that we aren’t an e-commerce business, but instead a wholesale distribution business.

We didn’t look at it that way, though. We decided that we are a pool fence company, and this was just one more way to sell pool fence. This is a much easier change in perspective than reimagining your entire business as an e-commerce operation.

We are the only major pool fence brand really selling online, direct to consumers, and over the last decade, this has become a major portion of our revenues. And now, given our lock on the market, it would be difficult for anybody else to try and get in.

The pain that comes from changing stopped those other businesses from seizing that opportunity. By reframing the change into something more palatable, we were able to move forward with it and succeed. The only difference was our perspective.

We are currently in the process of making another big change in our organization. There is a little doubt that it is the smart choice, and an excellent opportunity, but the fear and pain that comes from change makes you want to stop, abort, and go back towards what’s familiar. It creeps in at every obstacle and you have to be careful not to let it divert you from your course. You just have to redecorate the opportunity so it doesn’t feel like as big of a change, so it feels like the type of thing that you would do, and then you’ll be able to do it. No big deal. 

(Your mom wasn’t shying away from any opportunities last night. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Join the fam and make sure you never miss a post. Send a text with the word CRIP to 484848. I'll send you the link each week to the newest blog as soon as it's released.

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