Month: October 2022

Crippled CEO Blog #159:

Y’all be out here trifling with your associations and… it ain’t cute. 

Ahem. Pardon me. Let’s just pretend I didn’t do that.

But seriously, though.

I’ve touched on this before as portions of previous blogs, but I feel like I need to make this its own dedicated thing, to make it 100%, absolutely clear. 

Nothing, literally nothing, matters more than the human beings who you spend the most time with.

And yet, for some reason, we spend so little time and thought deciding who these people should and should not be.

We might spend hours considering different paint colors for our walls, or countertops for our new kitchen, but then we get together once a month with our wife’s coworkers who we can’t stand. We keep inviting crappy friends to our gatherings because we don’t want them to feel left out. We continue taking calls from toxic and negative people, attending events with vitriolic family members, and working with unreasonable, petty clients. 

We didn’t spend any time thinking about or choosing the people in our life. They just ended up there, and now we feel like we have to put up with them.

But we’ve all heard the expressions. You are the sum of your five closest friends. If you want to know somebody, know their friends.  And so on. 

The people you surround yourself with impact your health, your career, your relationships, and every other facet of your life far, far more than anything else.

The same goes for your business, too. Literally nothing matters more, by a massive margin, than the people you pick. Yet somehow, and I’ve been guilty of this, we end up with subpar, less than stellar humans working in our organization, and we just leave it like that because change is difficult. 

Or we let them stay for one of the same reasons we let the friends stay. We are afraid of being alone. What if we get rid of them, and we can’t find anyone better to replace them?

This fear is real and valid, but I have found, over and over again, that flushing out the bad just makes room for the good to fill the void. 

When I realize someone in my life is no good, and contributing only negativity, I cut them out as much as I can without losing any good folks. 

And when I stumble across someone awesome, I go after them. I strive to make them my friend and keep them in my company (like, my company, as in my presence, but also as in my business, as well, I guess). Great people add too much happiness and success to your life to be cavalier about their inclusion in it. 

Spend at least as much time thinking about the single biggest influence on your life as you’re going to spend selecting your next big screen TV. 

That seems reasonable, doesn’t it? 

(Do you know whose company I didn’t have to go after last night? Your mom. She came here all on her own. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #158:

“Maybe this time I can be strong

But since I know who I am

I’m probably wrong

Maybe this time I can go far

Thinking about where I’ve been

Ain’t helping me start”

• Michael Kiwanuka, Cold Little Heart 

Those of us with high IQs (I will ever so humbly include myself in this) can get ourselves into trouble by being “logical” or “realistic”. 

We go through our memory and assess the evidence, telling ourselves we are just looking at the facts, and then using that evidence, telling ourselves we are unswayed by emotion, we come to the conclusion:

I can’t do this. If I try it, I will fail. So, I shouldn’t even try. 

And then we tell ourselves, and others, that it sounds harsh, but we are just being… “realistic”. We are “self aware”. We know better.

Look at all of the times we have totally blown it. We screw up so badly, so often. There’s no way this will work. 

And this does sound smart and logical, in a Spock like way, doesn’t? It feels like you should agree with somebody, and respect them, for being able to make the cold, hard call.

The problem with this is… it’s malarkey. 

Our past doesn’t have to dictate our future.

Failing before does not mean we will fail in the future.

In fact, those past failures, instead of foreshadowing the future result, might actually be the learning experiences that will be the reason for your success this time. Losing those battles might be just what you needed to win the war.

You think you’re so smart because you have it all figured out. But the even smarter person knows that anything could happen, and with each attempt, we get better than we were before. 

“I have not failed 10,000 times—I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” – Thomas Edison

(Do you know who kept trying until she figured it out last night? Your mom. Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #157:

A while back, for reasons I do not recall, I decided I wanted to try and write down my dreams. I had friends who could remember all of their dreams, and they had dreams almost every night. Meanwhile, for the last decade, I had been a person who either wasn’t dreaming or just never remembered them.

My process is this: if and when I wake up in the middle of the night after a dream, I tell Siri to make a note, and then dictate what I remember about the dream.

I often times don’t even remember making the note, and will discover them in my phone days later.

Because dreams are weird, and because I am dictating my recollection of them while half sleep, I find the notes to be pretty entertaining, and I thought that you might, also. So, I am sharing them.

But aren’t you supposed to learn something here? Isn’t that part of the point?

I’m sure I can think of something helpful to connect to this.

Oh! Here we go…

I thought I was a person who did not remember his dreams, and that was just an unchangeable fact about myself. But then I put a new system in place, and this immutable characteristic was suddenly changed.

You might also be one habit change away from changing something about yourself that you think is a permanent fixture. The dream thing is silly, but there are lots of negative identities we give ourselves that we don’t necessarily have to live with, e.g. I’m always late, I can’t wake up on time, I binge sugar late at night, I hate disabled people (just me?), I’m bad with money, etc. It is easy to give up and think these are just parts of who you are, but there’s a chance a new system or habit could change this fact entirely.

Anyways, the weird dreams are below as screenshots of my notes. Let me know your favorite. 

(Do you know who was living out her dreams with me last night? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #156:

One of my goals as the guy who gets to make the final decisions at a company is to find all of the boring business things that companies do automatically, and reimagine them in a fun, more interesting way. For instance, instead of the regular company T-shirt, I had shirts made that make you look like a superhero; when you call our corporate headquarters, instead of the regular automated assistant, you are greeted by a voice who may or may not be Morgan Freeman; we are experimenting with more fun ways to answer the phone, like including a funny fact about yourself or wishing them a happy random holiday, like international national grilled cheese day. 

One of my favorite things that we have done is replacing the standard order confirmation email verbiage with something a bit more… amazing. Amazon sends out millions of order confirmation emails every day. Zero of them are interesting.

Pool Fence DIY sends out far fewer email confirmations. But they are all pretty great. I figured I would share our order confirmation and shipping confirmation with you below. Hopefully, it might inspire somebody to add a bit more fun to their standard processes. If you can think of other boring business communications that could be made more fun, I would love to hear about them.

Pool Fence DIY Order Confirmation:

Today is the greatest day in the history of our company. Today is the day that you chose to place an order with us, the day that you trusted us to make your home safer.

When your order came in, it was printed out on the finest silk parchment using golden ink.

All of the office staff gathered around to marvel at it. We each took turns noting the details of the order, and how they reflected on your incredible intelligence, taste, and wisdom. Internationally acclaimed poets authored and recited poetry while holding your sacred order. Everyone wept. 

Our Chief Operating Officer burned sage in its presence and our logistics manager led the room in a moment of prayer for you, your family, and the order.

After that, our CEO took the silk parchment with golden ink with great care and rode his electric wheelchair out to the factory. There, he presented it to the entire warehouse staff, declaring, “This is the most important order we have ever received. Please, make it with the greatest care. Do everything humanly possible to make it perfect in every way. Just like the person who ordered it.” They are now preparing it with both haste and care, treating it with the highest honors, striving for absolute perfection. (Our staff is human, of course (mostly). So, if something isn’t right, please forgive them and us. Email or call us right away. We will treat you like the fabled superstar you are and get it taken care of immediately.)

Your beautiful order will ship just as soon as it is ready. You will receive a tracking number when that happens. We cannot wait for you to see it. We are so, so excited.

If you need anything in the meantime, you can email us, your biggest fans, at info@poolfencediy.com or you can call us at 561-316-6418.

If using those channels doesn’t make all your dreams come true, please don’t hesitate to call or text our CEO, Eric Lupton, at 561-436-1337. If he’s not doing a podcast (every Tuesday at 9:30 am) or hosting a game night (every Wednesday at 7:30 pm), he will almost certainly answer your call. You can also email him at eric@poolfence.com.

Thank you again for making this the happiest day of our lives. You are the greatest.

—

Order shipped email:

Previously, the best day in the history of the company was the day we received an order from you. But now, that has been topped, because today we shipped your order, and that is now the best day in the history of the company.

Your order was carefully, gingerly, prepared by our team of highly trained artisans. Each member of the staff got an opportunity to carefully touch the sealed package with reverence and say a few words. Holy men and women from all of the world’s religions took turns blessing and anointing your magical shipment, preparing it not only for the journey to your home, but the long life it will have bringing you comfort and joy.

A framed copy of the packing list has been mounted on the wall. Each employee salutes it every morning when they start their day. A lasting testament to their greatest achievement.

Our company CEO, Eric Lupton, gathered all of the staff in a circle around your incredible order, had us all hold hands, and then began singing a beautiful song that he specifically wrote about you, personally, and the order you chose to place with us. No recording devices were allowed to taint the ephemeral majesty of the moment, but due to the inspiration of the subject matter – you – it may have been the greatest song ever heard, only to be listened to and performed the one time, in honor of your shipment departing. Everyone in attendance who heard the story of your greatness, of your generosity, of the triumphant way that you live your life – they all wept cathartically. A flock of doves flew up from the center of the circle and a firework show took over the sky.

And then, emotions filled with pride and joy, your order was loaded onto the truck to be sent to you. Everyone embraced one another, knowing this was their best work, for you, the person who deserved it the most. (And though they really did try their best, they are still people, and people make mistakes, so if something isn’t quite right, please call or email us right away, and you’ll be treated like the deity that you are.)

We hope you love your order as much as we loved sending it to you.

If you need any little thing AT ALL, call us at 561-316-6418 or e-mail us at info@poolfencediy.com.

(Do you know who was using some fun words last night? Your mom. It was hard to understand her, though, because her mouth was full. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #155:

Batman has no superpowers. He is just a human being, born on Earth, with incredible intellect, a lifelong dedication to training, and limitless financial resources.

Superman is often considered to be the strongest and most powerful superhero in the comic book universe. Besides magic and kryptonite, he is physically invulnerable, he is strong enough to move planets, he moves faster than the speed of light, and he has a host of other powers, like flight, heat vision, ice breath, and x-ray vision. He also has superhuman intelligence.

He’s essentially a god. 

Batman has way more fans than Superman. I actually talked about this in a previous blog. You can read it here: https://crippledceo.com/2020/11/crippled-ceo-blog-058-why-i-❤%EF%B8%8F💙-superman/

Because a lot of people like Batman more, there is often a debate around who would win in a fight, Batman or Superman, with Batman fans claiming that with time for planning, and a whole other gang of advantages given to the Dark Knight, that Batman would win. 

Obviously, this is silly. Batman is a regular dude. Superman is godlike. 

It wouldn’t even be a fight. It would be a massacre. He moves faster than the speed of light. He shoots laser beams from his eyes. Superman turns Batman into a dark smear on the ground in a nanosecond. 

So, why are so many Batman fans convinced that he would win, when all logic and evidence says otherwise? And why the heck am I talking about this? 

Batman fans want him to win because they like him more, because they have an emotional attachment to him, and then they go through mental gymnastics to try to use logic to justify the decision they made emotionally. 

The truth is, we all do this. For everything. 

You, me, your mom, and Neil deGrasse Tyson. 

We make a choice because of our emotions, and then try to justify it with logic and our intellect. It is never the other way around. 

This goes for everything in our life, and that includes our purchasing decisions, and your customers’ purchasing decisions. 

The real reason we buy anything is emotional, and most of the time, that emotion is us trying to reinforce the identity we have chosen for ourselves. If you think of yourself as a funky, non-traditional, outdoor loving type of person, you don’t choose a Jeep over a Honda Civic for practical reasons. You choose the Jeep because that fits the person you believe yourself to be better, and THEN you tell yourself all of the practical, logical reasons why the Jeep is the better choice for you.

If you think of yourself as young, hip, and successful, you get a Tesla — not because of the features or the gas mileage or all the other things — but because you think that’s what people like you often do. And then you use all the other stuff to justify it. There’s a good reason — the reason that you tell people (and yourself) — and the real reason, the emotional reason. 

Seth Godin, a hero of mine, describes this idea very succinctly: people like us do things like this.

We don’t stop wanting to fit in when high school ends.

So, if we make decisions emotionally, why are you always trying to appeal to logic when you are trying to convince someone to do something — like buy your stuff, for instance? 

You are far better off trying to appeal to them emotionally first. You will get a lot further demonstrating that this is a choice made by people who think, talk, dress, and act like them. 

If you get that right, people will come up with all of the practical reasons why your features and benefits made it the obvious choice. Do this well enough, and you might even get people to believe Batman could defeat Superman.

(Do you know who was moving faster than a speeding bullet last night? Your mom. Also, she has this little bullet of her own, and… ahem. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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