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Month: January 2020

Crippled CEO Blog #015: Getting Laid is Good for Business

I’m going to tell you a secret: getting laid regularly is good for business.

Getting laid increases sales.

Getting laid bolsters profits.

And not just for high-end escorts – but definitely them, too. Everybody.

And I’m not just talking about the physiological and mental benefits of sex and intimacy, though that is tremendously advantageous as well.

If you are getting laid regularly, you are experiencing a positive byproduct of investing time and energy into areas of your life outside of your business. You are spending time with the people you care about. You are relatively healthy. You are enjoyable to be around. You are doing all of the other things necessary for someone else to want to touch your no-no parts.

And you need that in order to run your business. If your life isn’t going well OUTSIDE work, the stress and loneliness of that will crush you. People talk about work/life balance as being important for your personal life, but the reality is that it’s even more important to your business life. Because the moment THAT side of your life explodes, not only will the fact that you’re miserable ruin your ability to be productive, creative, and proactive, but the sudden emergency of the situation will now DEMAND your time and attention – all of it – and now your business is suffering.

You need both wheels on the bike in order to keep pedaling. If one falls off, you end up face down in the concrete, looking like me on May 30, 2019, with two dozen stitches in my face.

Make sure that your non-work life is going well enough that you’re getting laid often. Your business will thank you.

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Crippled CEO Blog #014: I’m Judging You When You Complain

I confess. I judge you.

When you complain about your silly non-problems on Facebook, I fail at holding back an eye-roll.

I read recently about someone’s worst morning ever. The water in their shower took forever to heat up, so they were running late for work. And then as they were walking out the door, coffee spilled all down their shirt! They, of course, had to run back in and change. When they finally got to I-95: barely moving traffic. Worst. Morning. Ever. #fml

I’ve imagined what it would be like if we switched bodies. If my brain got to experience “your” worst morning ever, and “you” got to be me. But not on a bad day – on a perfectly fine day for me!

You’d wake up, laying on your side as I do. With monumental effort, you’d roll onto your back, and then realize… you can’t get up. You can’t even sit up. Terror would flood your mind. Eventually, someone would come in, and you quickly surmise they are going to bathe you, dress you, and help you into this wheelchair you somehow have. You call your family, who rush to you – devastated. Everyone is crying. A doctor is summoned, who informs you that you have cerebral palsy. You will be this way for the rest of your life. You’ll need help not only bathing and dressing, but cutting your food, using the bathroom, and a billion other things. You’ll never again be able to cook, drive, pick up a baby, play a sport, learn an instrument, be on top during sex, live alone, and so on. “My life is over,” you sob. You consider suicide. Your friends and family, when talking privately in hushed tones, wonder if that might be the kindest and smartest option.

Meanwhile, I’ve woken up as “you” on the #worstmorningever. I’m puzzled and excited when I just… stand up and get out of bed on my own. I walk to the shower, amazed I’m even walking. The water takes a while to heat up, but I couldn’t care less about the temperature. I’m showering on my own! This is the greatest shower in the history of showers. After showering and drying off, I can’t believe I’m dressing myself unassisted. I go to the kitchen, make and pour myself coffee without having to ask another soul at all for help, and then head out the door. As I’m walking out, the coffee spills all down my shirt. “Oh no,” I say, immediately thinking how I’m going to need to recruit someone to help me change my shirt, clean up the coffee. And then I realize… I can just change it myself. I don’t have to bother anyone. And three minutes later, I’m walking back out the door in a fresh shirt – no big deal. I get in the car and start driving to work. On my own. No one has to drive me. There’s traffic, but what do I care? This is incredible. It’s the greatest day of my life.

This might be a bit much, but the circumstances are real. Our perspective, expectations, and capacity for gratitude completely change the lens through which we experience the world. Your terrible morning might be the best day of my life. Consciously choosing to alter your perspective in real-time, or even in hindsight, is difficult, but entirely possible without practice. And as much as you can do it, increasing happiness and acceptance waits on the other side.

And when you complain about your trivial BS, I’m judging you.

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Crippled CEO Blog #013: The Secret to Pricing Your Services Perfectly

Lucky #13! Thank you to everyone who has been on board since #001. Hard to believe we are 13 weeks into this new tradition. I’m really enjoying it, and I hope you are, too. Let me know in the comments what your favorite one has been so far.

This one might be a bit shorter than normal, but it’s also exceedingly useful. It’s one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard, and one of my favorites to give.

Pricing services is a conundrum that every person who has ever done a task for someone else in exchange for money has struggled with.

You don’t want to be so exorbitant that you get rejected or feel like you are being iniquitous, but you don’t want to cheat yourself, either. Setting your price percolates myriad emotions and prompts introspective explorations whilst attempting to determine your self-worth, your confidence, your competence, and how you are perceived by others. It’s a difficult process that some never fully come to grips with, resulting in an unrelenting cyclone of anxiety.

That’s why this exceptionally straightforward, clear-cut method for choosing what to charge is so important.

And this is it: charge the amount that makes you THRILLED to be doing the work. Not acceptable, not fair, not “enough” – thrilled.

At first glance, this seems possibly a bit TOO obvious, and maybe TOO simple, but choosing the amount where you are thrilled to be there has a bit more to it than it seems.

If it is your dream to oil up Playboy models or sing a duet with Celine Dion, the amount you would need to be THRILLED is likely… zero dollars.

On the other hand, if the work is, perhaps, testing highly experimental and possibly perilous eyedrops, you might need something in the upper seven figures in order to be “thrilled.”

Usually, though, the undertaking is somewhere between dream and permanent disability, but going by “thrilled” rather than “fair” lets you charge less to spend your time on tasks that bring you more joy, and allow you to still be happy doing something you’d otherwise detest.

Also, when you’re thrilled to be doing the work, you do a superior job. The results are better. Whoever hired you will be more likely to recommend you. And by giving someone the option of paying your “thrilled” price for work you would otherwise turn down, you let the customer decide if she wants to pay that much to retain you. If yes, she gets what she wants, and you’re thrilled to do it. If not, everyone is still happy.

And if you are doing work where no one is willing to pay the amount you need in order to be truly thrilled, then you’re not doing something you love, and it’s time to make a change.

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Crippled CEO Blog #012: I solve everyone’s problems

A couple days ago I posted this on Facebook:

“I will help you solve any problem, and I will teach you anything I know for free. Just ask below.”

I had zero inclination that I might use the “questions” and answers from it as a blog post, but the questions asked allowed for some interesting responses, so I figured, “Why not?”

Questions are all from my Facebook friends (and some are problems, not exactly questions), and answers are all by me.


My wrist hurts again from having sex a lot.


Ibuprofen. Ice. Switch hands next time.


Two questions:

You said a while back something about not using email marketing. But you have a fairly high ticket item. Do you just use retargeting ads to keep people moving towards purchasing?

My sales copy doesn’t seem to convert. I try to focus on benefits, how it helps solve their problem, but I’m getting no results.


I don’t recall saying that about email marketing — we do some — but it doesn’t do that well.

We DO use retargeting. And it’s fine. It converts.

Better sales copy can make a difference, but what works even better, eventually, is BRANDING. The nuances of your sales copy aren’t as important when your visitors are people who searched specifically for you by name because they know of you/you were recommended/you have a reputation for being the best. I want my site to convert well for people just looking for “pool fence,” but I much prefer seeing the number of people Googling “life saver pool fence” going up. THOSE people are going to convert.


My home state has allowed repeat dangerous, offenders to roam free with no bail awaiting trial. My wife is afraid to go to her job now and I am afraid for her.


That sucks. So, we have a tendency to be more scared of things that are disproportionately less likely to harm us, just by hearing anecdotal stories. It’s part of our human caveman brain. We are terrified of snakes and spiders, which rarely kill anyone, but not cars, sugar, and alcohol. We are scared of being murdered by a stranger, like your wife is experiencing, but only 0.2% of deaths are homicide, and the VAST majority of those — almost 90% — are committed by someone known to the victim, not some random stranger.

So, step 1: understand that your caveman brain is exaggerating the threat. Dying in a car accident is far, FAR more likely.

Step 2: take control of the situation. Though the odds are rare, make yourself prepared — just in case. Equip her with pepper spray, get her in a women’s self-defense course, consider enrolling in jiu-jitsu, which has a ton of other benefits, see if someone can walk her to her car at night.

Reassure yourself that the actual threat is extremely unlikely, and then take precautions to be even safer.


I want to know how did you start your business… what was your vision and motivation…?


I didn’t start Life Saver — my parents did — but I have started a few other businesses. The key is to really, really love the thing you are doing, because to be successful, you have to be obsessed, you have to be doing it all the time, and in the beginning, you’re probably not getting paid, so you have to love it or you’ll quit.


I can’t put metal in my microwave. Help


You can. Just don’t turn it on.


i want to know whats the best way to hire employees, i am working on my trucking company now and this year i want to start hiring people to drive for me. I have never been in a position before where i had to hire anyone. any tips?


I like placing ads on Facebook to find employees. I also am a big fan of hiring people that I know and friends. But I am kind of weird in that regard. It is impossible to tell from an interview how well someone is going to do. Ignore the resume, hire somebody it seems like you get along with, and then fire quickly when it’s not working out, until you get the right people.


I’m starting with a new travel agent company how would you market yourself ? I have a Facebook group with about 100 people in it . Anything else to get my name out ? Thanks


That’s an excellent start. You need to be producing content in video, audio, and written form. I would pick the one you enjoy the most or you are the best at, then use that pillar content to convert into the other two. So, if you are making videos, have those videos transcribed into text for a blog, and use the audio as a podcast. I would also start doing mini interviews with customers for your Facebook video series/podcast about where they are going and the cool stuff they are seeing, and then again when they get back to get their thoughts on where they went. You could then compile these into best of lists, testimonials on certain locations from multiple people, and so on.

I would also host dinner or cocktail mixer parties for your customers where they can exchange vacation ideas based on where they went and get travel tips from you.

Maybe consider getting a stuffed animal mascot, like a little bear or something, wearing a shirt with your company name and logo on it, give it a name, and give it to customers to take with them on vacation and have them take pictures of it in cool locations. They can post the photos and tag the mascot, which should have its own Facebook/Instagram page, and they could send you photos to post as well.

I could keep going, but I think they should get the ball rolling for you.


I just want Tony and Khabib to happen without any bullshit. Can you guarantee this?


I can’t. I wish I could, but I can’t


Should I wear the black or red dress to dinner tonight?!? Helpppp!


Where is dinner?

(Response is fancy Italian place.)

I’d lean towards black, but whichever shows more cleavage.

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