Month: February 2023

Crippled CEO Blog #173:

I am a high school dropout.

I have cerebral palsy and use a wheelchair. 

My dad was a drug addict. 

I’m also the CEO of a global company with 8-figure annual revenues. I have lived an amazing life filled with incredible friends, gorgeous girlfriends, and spectacular experiences. 

If you don’t look like the standard picture of success, it’s easy to think that the type of success and happiness you dream of isn’t meant for you. It’s easy to tell yourself that that life is reserved for those other people, who weren’t dealt the hand of problems and disadvantages that you’ve been dealt.

Trust me. I get it. I’m a high school dropout in a wheelchair. That’s an easy thing to do blame the problems in my life on. In fact, it’s so easy, that not only would other people agree with me, they would also help me come to that obvious conclusion. “I mean, of course you’re not going to do that. Not to be rude, but with your situation… that’s not your fault.”

These preconceptions about who we are and who people can be are hardwired. They are difficult to overcome. If I didn’t give you any other context, and I asked you to describe the life and career of a dropout in a wheelchair, would you imagine that life looked like mine? I wouldn’t. And there’s no way to become successful if we can’t first imagine it. There’s no way you’re ever going to be a doctor if you’re convinced you would never make it through med school. You’re never going to marry that girl if you think talking to her ends in disaster.

Severely disabled, uneducated, heroin addict dad, and living a thriving, prosperous life. Are the cards you’ve been dealt that bad? Maybe they are. Maybe they are even worse. But just like I’ve done it, someone out there who is in your situation has done it, as well. And if they can do it, so can you.

The path to success and happiness doesn’t look the same for everybody. In fact, for most, it doesn’t look like what you think at all. 

Being a disabled drop out isn’t the identity that I think of when I think of myself. It’s true, so it could be, but it’s not. We are the stories that we tell ourselves and the identities we assign to ourselves.

You can’t stop being a loser and hopeless if you keep thinking you’re a loser and hopeless. The change in your head comes first, not the other way around. 

It’s simple, but it’s not easy. But if this cripple can do it, you certainly can, too. 

(Do you know who really believed she could do it last night? Your mom. And she was right. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #172:

Everyone hates being ignored. It’s so traumatic that the dating version of being ignored is called “ghosting“. It sounds like something out of a horror movie. 

I have long said that upset customers are rarely truly pissed off by the mistake you made. People are generally pretty forgiving of mistakes. No, they become truly pissed off when they feel ignored, which often happens after a mistake, because we don’t know what to do to fix it, or because the whole situation makes us feel yucky so we don’t engage with it. That’s when the real anger kicks in. The screwup is the seed, but the ignoring that followed was what made it bloom into full on rage.

So, don’t ignore people unless you want to make them very angry.

But what do you do when you’re being ignored?

More specifically, what do you do when you’re being ignored by email or text message? 

Chris Voss, in his masterpiece, Never Spilt the Difference, has a one sentence message that will get you a reply back almost all of the time. Like 94% of the time. 

It is pretty magical. It is like one of those “this one weird trick“ clickbait things, but it really is one weird trick that actually does work. 

It is important to only use this as a last resort; you have followed up several times, but just can’t get a response. It is also important that you only use this on someone you know, who you are currently working with in some way. And lastly, it is critical that you send it just like this, with nothing changed, added, or taken away.

The magical phrase that will get you a response almost every time is: 

“Have you given up on this?“

People hate to give up. They hate other people to think they’ve given up on them. They hate to give up on things that they thought they wanted to do. People are also eager to correct you if you’re wrong about them. And, to top it off, this is a “no oriented question”. Like, “Is now a bad time?” or “Would it be crazy to…?”, the answer you are hoping to get is “no“. People have an easier time saying no than yes. All of these factors make this the perfectly calibrated question to get a response.

Again, this won’t work on people you are spamming who don’t know you. There actually has to be a thing that they are giving up on. And you don’t want to use this prematurely. It invokes an emotional response and defensiveness, which is why it works, but you don’t want to do that unless you have no other choice. Try following up nicely a bunch of times before pulling out the big gun.

So, that’s it. That’s the one weird trick to stop being ghosted. 

(Do you know who would never give up on me? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #171:

I’m fantastic! 

That is my typical reply when someone asks me how I’m doing. I use it because that is the most positive word I can come up with. Sometimes, to mix it up, I replace “fantastic“ with terrific, tremendous, incredible, or amazing. But 85% of the time, I’m fantastic. 

And why do I tell people that I’m fantastic? Because I am. 

And I am because I get to choose.

Some days are rougher than others, and there are times when I’m not feeling 100%, either physically or emotionally, but I do still tend to tell people that I am fantastic, because that hasn’t changed.

And saying it out loud, over and over, to everyone who I encounter who asks, helps to reinforce and solidify that choice to be fantastic. I make it real and remind myself of it every time I say it. You can be sad or down every now and again and be honest about it, but I know people who typically tell me they are “hanging in there“ or they are doing “not too bad“. Every time I hear it, I wonder how much this idea they are telling themselves is part of their problem.

Plus, besides all of the benefits you get from choosing to be fantastic, a vibrant and positive response rubs off on the person you were talking to. They get happier because you are, which then rubs off on you, creating a feedback loop of positivity. It is one of those times where you can be selfish and altruistic at the same time. I love those. 

So, try choosing to be fantastic, and then tell people how fantastic you are. It works best if it’s not a secret.

(Do you know who thought I was fantastic last night? Your mom. Your mom also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog post. Send a text to 561-726-1567 with the word CRIP as the message to get a link to the blog as soon as it’s up.

Did you know that I have a YouTube channel now? I do! I am putting up two videos every single week. Go search for Crippled CEO and you’ll find me. I would appreciate it if you subscribed.)

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