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In my old age, I have developed some weird anxieties about taking any kind of new medication. And today, I had to start taking a new antibiotic. Also, because I don’t swallow pills, I have to chew them, which makes the entire experience a bit more traumatic. 

To help myself get over my irrational fear and just take the damn thing, I employed a simple tactic, that works for all kinds of things, that revolves around a well-known phrase:

What’s the worst that could happen?

Really going out of your way to imagine the worst case scenario when embarking on something you’re not sure about has a gang of benefits. 

For one, it creates confidence. When you imagine the worst thing that could happen, you typically realize it is something you could live with. In this silly example, the worst thing that could happen is I get nauseated and puke. And that would suck. But it’s not the end of the world.

I’m in the process of starting up a new business, Life Saver Pool Service. What’s the worst that could happen there? It doesn’t work. I lose some money, some time, and people who I probably don’t care that much about anyways make fun of me behind my back. I can live with that. 

When I started writing this blog, I contemplated what the worst case scenario was: no one reads it. 

In all three cases, the worst thing that could happen is much smaller than the benefits of success. The upside outweighs the downside. Effective risk mitigation. 

Besides creating confidence and managing risk, the last benefit is preparation. If you have thought through all of the worst case scenarios, you are more prepared for how to handle them. You can take the necessary steps to be ready in the event that the worst thing that could happen does actually happen.

When you are getting ready to do something that you’re nervous about, it is easy for the negative ramifications to be mentally overblown. Taking the time to really think through the worst possible outcome can help to bring things back into reality. And if you’re doing something you are excited and optimistic about, taking the time to imagine the worst case scenario can help you avoid being caught off guard, to mitigate risk, and to have proper precautions in place.

But hey, what’s the worst that could happen?

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“Any idiot can walk. But not just any idiot can start a business. It takes a very special kind.” — Me, Just Now

Several years back (or maybe 3 months ago — I can’t do time), I was struck by a story I read about Tim’s Place, a restaurant in Albuquerque, New Mexico that served breakfast, lunch, dinner… and hugs. It was the only restaurant in the US owned by a person with Down syndrome. 

What struck me about the story wasn’t just the coolness of a person with Down syndrome owning a restaurant — though that is, in itself, cool — it was the brilliant, incredibly self-aware, ego free delegation. Tim Harris was the owner of Tim’s Place. And the job that he gave himself at his restaurant was to hug each and every customer. That was it. That was his job. The administration, the hiring, the firing, the cooking, the accounting… he had people better at those things do them for him — which is EXACTLY what a business owner should do. It was genius. 

And that truth, that the job of a business owner is to figure out her most useful function and to delegate the rest, is the exact reason why entrepreneurship, by FAR, is the best career choice for people with disabilities. 

Like it’s not even close. 

People think of entrepreneurship as the crowning achievement of a career, the final level in a difficult game, that after succeeding at a job for a decade, with nowhere else to ascend, you have no choice but to branch out on your own. And yeah, I am sure that happens. 

But the reality is that starting a business, aka entrepreneurship, is for people who CAN’T do a regular 9-5 job, whether that’s because you can’t stand a boss, you need a flexible schedule, you have this passion for something that you have to express/work on, you feel trapped doing one thing, OR because you need help going pee, you need to go home to poop, you can’t cut up your own lunch, you have a lot of medical appointments, and you need a custom tailored environment and specific assistance in order to be successful. All of those are valid, but the last one, which describes my exact situation, is super tough to get at a regular job. You could just as easily swap out my specific details with those of a quadriplegic, someone with autism, a person with Down syndrome, a deaf person, a blind person, or someone suffering from depression, and the result is the same. 

Because getting that custom tailored environment that can provide the scaffolding for a disabled person to find success at a regular job is virtually impossible, the reasonable assumption then becomes that it is also impossible for that person to work, to earn an income, and they will forever be dependent on financial assistance from others and the government to survive.

And, in some cases, that might be totally true. But I really and truly believe that there are so, so many people out there right now, sitting at home, thinking that they cannot work, who could be successfully owning their own businesses. 

Every business owner must custom tailor their work, their environment, and their staff so they  can be successful, and this recipe, coincidentally, is exactly what every person with a disability also needs. It honestly feels like entrepreneurship what is designed with disabled people in mind. It is hard to articulate just how well it fits. 

And disabled people are already accustomed to having staff, giving instructions, training people, and delegating. Every disabled person getting help with tasks is already a disabled CEO. You’ve been training for this for years, in some cases for your whole life. You just need to take it a step further and also hire employees who are going to make you money.

Just like at Tim’s Place, if the disabled business owner (or any business owner) decides her best role is to just hug every customer, and EVERYTHING else is going to be delegated and outsourced, she can do that (especially now with outsourcing services like Fiverr or low cost virtual assistants through sites like Fiverr again or brickwork.com or (Your Man in India) ymii.com available). 

If she decides that she needs a break from 11 AM to 3 PM in order to comfortably get through the day, she can do that.

If she needs the employee who packs up orders to also empty her catheter once a day, and they are willing, she can do that.

This works. Tim in Albuquerque is living proof it works. I’M living proof it works. There is almost no way I would be able to hold a regular job, but I think most would say I’m pretty successful doing the one I built for myself. 

If “regular jobs” aren’t working for you, for whatever reason, disability or otherwise, the problem isn’t with you. The problem is that you are trying to succeed at something not meant for you. Fish aren’t good at climbing trees. Create something made specifically for you, set up specifically for you to thrive, stop trying to climb that tree, and get busy swimming. 

(If you know someone that might find this helpful, please share it with them. If you want to get notified the moment a new blog post is up every Sunday, text the word CRIP to 484848 to sign up, and I will send you a text each week with the latest post before anyone else sees it.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #029:

As we know from the hit TV show (allegedly — I’ve never actually seen the show; I don’t watch TV), the first 48 hours of a police investigation are the most crucial. After that time frame, potential evidence goes missing; crime scenes become contaminated; witnesses disappear.

If you are in a business that requires talking to a customer to complete a sale — any kind of service business, pool fence installation, real estate, selling weed, car sales, pool construction, plumbing, A/C, prostitution, roofing, massage, anything B2B — then you also have to think about the First 48. For you, the First 48 also means the difference between success and failure.

But for you, it’s not the first 48 hours. Not even close. Homicide detectives have way more time than you do. For you, it’s the first 48 minutes. 

That’s about how long you have to respond to a lead — either through your website form, on your voicemail, on Facebook, on Instagram, via text — before your chances of getting that sale drop by at least half. Responding to inquiries as quickly as possible is one of the single most important aspects of your business (or, if your job involves selling stuff, your job). 

If the lead is coming in by phone, answering it as it’s ringing is your best bet, but regardless of the medium in which the customer chooses to reach out to you, you should be treating this like an emergency, with a clock ticking down, that you need to address.

Because your competitor certainly is. And it’s a race.

I’ve often said that there’s only a few things you need to get right to be successful. You can get a ton of stuff wrong. But getting back to people quickly might not only be the most important, it is often times the one thing you can adjust immediately and inexpensively.

So, there you have it. The first 48. When the lead comes in, the clock starts ticking.

(Do you know somebody that can use this? A sales person this might help out? Maybe someone you work with? Share it with them. If you enjoyed this one, or any of these, get a text message with a link to the latest one as soon as I post it by texting the word CRIP to 484848. I check to see how many people subscribe every week. I love seeing the number go up. It means a lot to me. If you just sent that text, thank you.)

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Once upon a time (around 10 years ago), in a land… right here, actually… I was almost always in terrible, constant, excruciating pain that would sometimes make me double over at random, clenching my jaw to bite down the scream while tears filled my eyes. 

When I would get out of my chair at night, my left leg would stay in the same 90 degree position, like I was still sitting. It wouldn’t straighten anymore. 

The ball of my hip joint had moved slightly outside of the socket, and the corner of that socket was grinding against the bone all the time. Anytime I moved. Or breathed. You could sometimes hear the ba-ba-ba-ba noise of the joint forcing itself over the uneven surface of the other bone. 

It was awful. 

I eventually would have surgery that chopped off that ball of my hip joint entirely. It is much better now.

But while I was enduring that, somehow, I realized something. I was having one of those attacks that I had 50 times per day, the kind that made me suddenly bend over toward that hip, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment. When I opened my eyes and looked up, I saw somebody wincing, trying to deal with a splinter in their finger. And for a second, I was annoyed. How could this person be bothered by a splinter while I was going through this consciousness shattering cacophony of torture? How ridiculous. How selfish of them. Didn’t they know how bad I had it?

We are told to be grateful because other people have it worse. 

“Hey, at least you have a roof over your head. That’s more than many can say.”

“There’s people starving in India.”

“At least you don’t have cancer.”

And while it is true that we should have some perspective about our trivial ass, first world, bullshit problems, it is also important to remember that we are all living our own separate, independent lives, and the severity of our experiences are all relative to what we’ve personally gone through.

And even though I was on the verge of passing out from hip pain that Mengele would have been jealous of, that didn’t make that splinter suck any less for my friend. Somebody having brain cancer doesn’t make your headache any less shitty. Someone losing their husband of 47 years doesn’t make your break up any less sad for you.

Perspective is important. But you don’t need to feel guilty for cursing and hopping around when you stub your toe because somebody, somewhere is getting their foot amputated. That shit hurts. And that comparison won’t make you feel any better.

(Thank you so much for reading! If you like this at all, please share it with your friends. Also, be sure to text the word CRIP to the number 484848 to become a CRIP and get notified as soon as I post the blog each Sunday. You’ll be glad you did.)

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Today is the annual recognition of my (first) vaginal egress. It’s my birthday (I’m 38). Since my previous birthday plans of going to see a comedian at the Improv have been squashed by the pandemic, a couple days ago, I wrote out my ideal schedule for the day, and then shared it with the people it included. Here it is:

Proposed plan for my birthday (this Sunday):

9:30 AM – 10:30 AM

Getting out of bed with Gizmo 

11:00 AM – 2:00 PM

Personal Reflection / Wondering if I have chest pains/COVID / YouTube / Write the blog /  Interactive Animated Storytelling Content (aka video games)

2:00 PM – 5:00ish PM

Tabletop gaming (Lords of Waterdeep?) with friends who choose to partake, which may include Lauren, Dan, Doscher, Gizmo, and Ryan. 

6:00 PM – 7:00 PM

Seriously. I’m pretty sure I have it. Did I just cough? Is that you, Rona? Let me check the pulse/ox. 

7:00 PM – 10:05 PM

Dinner, Ozark, and Westworld with Kate

1:40 AM – 1:46 AM

Bedtime / sex with one or more people regular people only get to fantasize about  (with masks and proper social distancing)

4:00 AM

I’m dying. This isn’t a panic attack this time. I know it. I’m freaking dying right now.

— 

I was totally honest with myself and decided the above is exactly what I wanted to do today. I used my birthday as permission to do so. And that’s exactly what’s happening. I’m writing this now at 12:37 PM. 

It got me thinking, though. Why aren’t I doing this every day? I pretty much do what I feel like, and don’t do the things I don’t want to do, but why not give myself permission to plan to do whatever my perfect day is, every day? I mean, yeah, I have responsibilities. But, besides going to the doctor or the dentist, I picked those and want to do them, too. 

So, that’s the advice for today. Obviously, life happens, and it won’t always be 100% possible, But let’s try to be honest with ourselves about what we really want to do each day, write that down, let others know, and let’s live every day like it’s our birthday.

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I used to HATE being wrong. 

Like… really hate it. 

I was known (and for many, I’m sure this is still part of how they perceive me) for always having to be right about everything. 

There were two reasons that I hated being wrong. The first was that I’m competitive. I like winning. And being wrong felt like losing. (It’s not.)

The second reason, and this is likely the bigger one, is that I connected ideas, facts, beliefs, and concepts to my identity and my worth. So, if someone was trying to explain why I was wrong about this thing, I felt like they were attacking ME — that I, as a person, was “wrong.” 

It is easy to connect our ideas, and the things we think we know, to our identity. I am certainly guilty of this. It is the exact reason why people avoid discussing politics and religion.

But at some point, I figured something out. Something flipped inside my brain.

First, I decided, and spent lots of time reminding myself, that my ideas are not tied to my identity. All of my ideas and beliefs are just my best guesses based on everything I know at that moment. And HOPEFULLY, that changes. If I’m doing it right, I’m constantly absorbing new information and perspectives. It’s silly to connect who I am to an idea, because more information on that idea might reveal itself that requires me to change my mind. But I won’t change my mind if I have attached that concept to my identity, which will freeze my ability to improve. 

With that in mind, I realized that it’s FANTASTIC to find out you are wrong. When you discover you are wrong about something, you just got smarter. Your mind just received a software upgrade. You are better than you were before. You didn’t just learn something new. You unlearned something that was incorrect — it’s even better. These days, I am constantly seeking out and hoping to find things I might be wrong about. Because I know that every time I do, it is an enhancement, an improvement, and continual refinement.

The moment you start looking for why you are wrong, and honestly engaging people from that perspective, instead of clinging onto and defending what you think is right, you just unlocked a whole new world of potential. 

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Today (April 5, 2020) is my mom’s birthday. Astonishingly, it is the EIGHTH birthday she has had since she passed away. Eight years sounds like such a long time, and on one hand, it does feel like an eternity since she passed away, but on the other, it seems like I was just sitting in the living room with her making fun of someone deserving. 

“Any idiot can walk.”

I don’t know when she first said this to me. I think it was in the late single digits. Maybe I was 10. But I was young. And I don’t remember why she said it. Maybe I was having a moment of weakness, some insecurity about being disabled. But it stuck — clearly; it’s the tag line of this blog. 

“You’re never going to be a roofer. You can’t fix cars. You HAVE to be smart. You have to use your brain.”

Starting very early on, she made it inexplicably clear that I would work, I would be successful, that I was infinitely capable of achieving anything I wanted, but I had to use what I had. And I had to completely discard the things I definitely couldn’t do. And a big part of that was cerebral palsy related, but there was and is a ton I can’t do that has nothing to do with CP, as well. She hammered home that, being disabled and in a wheelchair, my success absolutely hinged on me quadrupling down on all the things smart and intellectual in my wheelhouse that I COULD excel at, and forget the rest. If everyone, able bodied and disabled, could adopt this worldview — focusing on what we can do and discarding everything else — I think we’d all be a lot happier and more productive. 

“If a girl won’t be with a guy just because he is in a wheelchair, you didn’t want that type of person anyway, and you’re lucky you get to find that out upfront. You weed out everyone shallow (and honestly, that’s probably going to be every girl you meet in high school).”

While I think that making the life choice to not be with a disabled person doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person, there is something to be said about accepting that those who don’t want you also aren’t FOR you, and that rejection is good for everyone involved. 

“We keep little feet on solid ground.”

“I want to start a yard maintenance company and call it `Lawn Enforcement’.”

“I want to start a bakery and call it `I Knead Dough’.”

I learned so much about marketing from her, the idea that the look and presentation of a thing matters just as much as what it is. That if you’re going to do something, you should be trying to inject creativity and cleverness everywhere you can. Perception matters.

“Pick your battles.”

“If it won’t matter in five years, it doesn’t matter.”

Arguably the biggest lesson that she drilled home time and time again, through her actions and literally by telling us, was to not sweat the small stuff, to not get stressed out about things that don’t matter, to stay calm while everyone else panics, and so on. It is so easy to get hung up on things that don’t matter, especially since most things don’t matter.

Person A: “The Beatles are so much better than The Rolling Stones.”

Mom: “Absolutely. Way better.”

10 minutes later…

Person B: “ The Rolling Stones are definitely better than the Beatles.“

Mom: “Oh, for sure.”

She didn’t do this about things that she was actually passionate about or things that were actually important, but on topics that really didn’t matter to her, or matter period, she always preferred to maintain what she thought was truly important, the relationship with that person, rather than be correct or convince somebody about something meaningless. I watched her do this over and over again, and I’m still terrible at it. I think I’m getting better, though.

She would simultaneously be enjoying tracking everything going on with this coronavirus, and freaking out about any of us getting it right now. She lived for big events like this. Hurricanes, the O.J. Simpson trial, etc. I think because it brought about the one thing that she valued the most, that brought her the most joy: community, connectedness, and a shared journey. That’s why she loved holidays. That’s why she would agree with you rather than start an argument. That’s why she loved her family. And that’s one of the many reasons why we loved her. 

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Someone cancels plans with me at the last minute, one of my biggest pet peeves. 

An employee doesn’t clock out for lunch. Again.

A customer places a big order and, for the first time ever, chooses to pay by check. After the order ships, the check bounces. 

The salad I had delivered doesn’t have the ranch I requested. 

A new employee shows up 2 hours late. 

I texted her a question 4 hours ago and she hasn’t responded. 

My lady is grumpy and short. 

In my less than humble opinion, there are only three big keys to being happy. 

I’m going to talk about the easiest of the three today. 

At least, it’s the easiest for me. 

It makes such a huge difference in life, in business, in relationships, and your enjoyment whilst getting food delivered. 

I think it’s one of the two big reasons I live a drama free existence. 

It’s this simple: go out of your way to give people the benefit of the doubt; don’t assume bad intentions. 

This seemingly small thing will immediately transform the way you interact with other people. 

In all of the above examples, I could have chosen to take personal offense, to get mad, to assume I was being taken advantage of, deliberately ignored, sabotaged, or wasn’t important to somebody. 

But in all those examples, I gave the benefit of the doubt, and it paid off each time.

The person who canceled had just found out her  close family member passed away.

The employee wasn’t trying to steal time. He was in a rush trying to get everything done and just forgot. 

The customer wasn’t trying to cheat me. His identity was stolen and he had to empty that account.

The people at Delivery Dudes don’t hate me. Everybody is overwhelmed with everything going on, the restaurant forgot to put it in.

The late employee’s son had to be taken to the ER at 4 AM. He came to work directly from the hospital. 

She was sleeping, not deliberately ignoring my message. 

And my lady had just gotten in a fight with her mom. She wasn’t mad at me / trying to treat me poorly at all. 

If your default mode is to always give the benefit of the doubt, right off the bat, at the micro level, during an interaction with someone, things will go better. Your reactions will be happier, more positive. And that, in turn, will cause the person to whom you are giving the benefit of the doubt to respond in kind. You will improve the outcome of that individual event tenfold, avoiding what could have escalated into an angry confrontation. 

But even more importantly, at the macro level, if you can train yourself to become the type of person who automatically gives the benefit of the doubt all the time, that perspective is going to make you a much happier person. Your perspective, the way that you look at the world, will improve dramatically. You will realize that the universe isn’t a malevolent force plotting your demise and that most people aren’t trying to hurt you. In fact, most people aren’t even thinking about you at all.

With everything going on, tensions are high, but we need each other more than ever. Try and give the benefit of the doubt. Not for them (though they will benefit, as well). Be selfish. Do it for you. Live a happier, reduced stress life.

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I was driving — scratch that. I wasn’t driving anywhere. I can’t drive. Or do jumping jacks.

My dear friend, the amazing Kate Whitten Mottram neé Manuel, was driving her and me in my definitely-blue-not-black Escalade north on Congress Avenue on Friday; away from the corporate headquarters of Life Saver Pool Fence and toward my humble abode.

There were less cars on the road, but still way too many given the global pandemic.

And that pandemic, of course, was what we were discussing.

She was struggling, like many of you likely are, with the cognitive albatross of the never-ending decision making. What outing is essential? What is safe? What is responsible? How can this be made safer? How can this risk be mitigated? What do I do, case after case after case?

I gave her a piece of advice that has helped me tremendously over the years: make a rule. Spend some time, think it through, and make a rule. Decide one time what to do and then apply that rule ruthlessly whenever it arises, saving yourself from having to be constantly weighed down by making a decision on a case by case basis every time this thing, whatever it is, comes up.

For instance, for COVID-19, I’ve decided I leave the house to go to work. And that’s it. Nothing else. That’s the rule. When things pop up that seem tempting / important, I follow the rule.

On a more trivial note, I have a rule about showers. I don’t do them. Baby showers, bridal showers, golden showers, regular showers… none of the above. I hate them (we all do), and I used to agonize over whose baby / bridal shower was important enough for me to go to. Now, it’s real simple. I don’t go to any.

Same goes for small children’s birthday parties. If your 1 year old is throwing a rager, save your money and don’t send me an invite. I’m not going.

Go ahead and add weddings that require me getting on a plane to that list, too.

I also, automatically, get tickets to see every comedian I am familiar with who comes to the Palm Beach Improv. I got tired of trying to decide who to see and who not to see. So, I made a rule. And now I see them all.

I even have a rule about which watch to wear each day.

As much as this helps streamline a personal life, it’s even more important in business. I see so many businesses constantly wrestling over the same issues again and again on a case by case basis. Don’t do this. If something comes up more than once, make a rule.

When a customer calls and is interested in getting a pool fence, we do the same thing every time. When someone inquires about becoming a dealer, we do the same thing every time. When we get a warranty email, we do the same thing every time. I even have a 10 page Word document filled with email responses, ready to be copied and pasted, because I respond to a myriad of different scenarios the same way every time.

When you make a rule, not only do you save yourself the bandwidth of having to solve the same problem over and over again, you also make better decisions. You make the rule when you’re not currently in the situation, when you are removed from it a little bit, and thinking pragmatically. When you spend some real-time making the right decision once, then stick to it, you are much better off than quickly trying to make a choice on the spot when you’re in the thick of it.

No one likes following the rules imposed on us by others. Those rules are never fun. But if you make and live by your own rules, life gets a lot less stressful and your business gets a lot more automated.

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When I was 12 months old, “they” said I would never be able to talk or swallow food.

My biggest problem speaking is that I talk way TOO FAST. Videos of me speaking have been seen by tens of thousands of people.

“They” said I would have to live with my parents until they were too old to care for me, then move to a nursing home where I’d need round-the-clock care.

I bought my first house and moved out on my own when I was 18. I had no nurses or structured care. I still don’t.

“They” said I should be careful about my income because I would be dependent on Medicaid, social security, and disability.

I’ve never received any government assistance of any kind for anything.

“They” said I had to go to college and get a degree to be successful.

I dropped out of high school in 11th grade. I’m the CEO of multiple companies with (combined) 8-digit annual revenue with locations in 16 countries.

“They” said I’d kill Life Saver when my dad retired.

It’s grown 10 times.

“They” said no one is going to have sex with a guy in a wheelchair.

LOL

“They” said to stay in your lane – “stick to fences, fence guy.”

We’ve gone from selling pool fence only to dealers to also having a fully thriving e-commerce operation doing 7-figure revenue. I have another company that’s invented the solution to children dying in hot cars. I’m about to start a pool service and a lawn care company. I’ve hosted and put out over 70 podcast episodes. I’m 22 weeks into writing a weekly blog (thank you for reading!). I’m a pretty well-respected member of the horology community. And I’ll eventually do sit-down comedy.

“They” say if you’re an almost-40 year old business owner, your house needs to look a certain way. Like an “adult.”

My 50+ superhero statues and signed art pieces disagree. My house is AWESOME.

In my notes in my phone, I have a list of all the things I want to write a blog about; not titles, per se, just enough to remember what the idea was.

The reminder for this one is: “Why? Why not? Says who?”

My parents had an entire room in their very normal 3 bedroom house turned into an aviary for dozens of exotic finches.

My mom bred long-haired miniature dachshunds. At one point, we had 28 dogs living in the house.

Before I ever bought my first superhero statue, I went to a birthday party for a friend of a friend’s dad. This gentleman is a married father to grown children who has been rather successful in the finance industry. He has a large house in a fancy neighborhood. And each year, for his birthday, he throws an Uno tournament – like a legit Uno competition with bad ass prizes, like iPads and stuff. And his house is COVERED in comic book memorabilia – statues, action figures, props, weapons, filing cabinets full of comics, and so on. His living room walls are covered in musical instruments, mostly ukuleles. And then he has another room setup for video games, with a big projector screen on the wall and every console system you can buy.

Why not? Says who?

Why are you holding back from designing your life the way you want it? “They” don’t know anything about you, they’re usually wrong, and you don’t even like most of them. So, why are you listening to them?

You can be a plumber AND the lead singer in a rock band (I’ve seen it). You can be a porn star, a video editor, AND write a novel (I’ve seen that one up close). You can teach karate, drive a school bus, and be a painter (seen that, too). Joe Rogan is a comedian, a taekwando champion, a black belt in jiu-jitsu, a commentator for the UFC, and hosts the most popular podcast on Earth (I think). Don’t let people put you in boxes. Don’t just think outside the box. Live outside the box. The most successful, most interesting, HAPPIEST people are doing things their way. You don’t have to only be what you’ve done before. You get to decide the story of your life. You only get one. Write it the way you want – at all costs, whatever it takes.

Why not? Says who?

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