Crippled CEO Blog #053: Grilled Chicken is Awful

Crippled CEO Blog #053:

Grilled chicken is the worst chicken.

That’s right. I said what I said.

Grilled chicken is terrible.

It’s dry. It’s chewy. It lacks flavor. It is inferior to every other form of chicken.

“You just haven’t had MY grilled chicken, Eric. When I do it, it comes out perfect.”

Yeah. Whatever. Maybe if you are a master of grilling chicken and the stars are aligned and the air temperature is correct and it is the right time of day and the moon is in the correct position and the barometric pressure is right and the DOW Jones index is up by exactly 23 points, then it’s possible you might be capable of grilling chicken and having it be at least somewhat decent. Moderately edible at best.

But that’s rare. 

And also only true for 27 seconds after it is off the grill. Order grilled chicken at a restaurant, or even worse, have it delivered, and expect only sadness and despair.

Even when the temperature of the ocean is correct and it turns out less than terrible, it’s still not as good as all of your other options. Have you ever had a bad rotisserie chicken? Rotisserie chicken is amazing every time.

Baked chicken? Solid. 

And here is the secret one that only a few people know about: boiled chicken. Your instinct is to think that boiled chicken is gross, but it’s not. It’s amazing. Juicy, soft, tender, bursting with flavor. Boiled chicken is the best chicken.

We need to stop pretending that grilling chicken is the best way to cook it. 

Because it’s not. Not even close.

Grilled chicken is the worst chicken.

(We will be back to regular stuff next week. This just had to be said. The people have to know. If you want to make sure that you never miss a post, send a text to the number 484848 with the word CRIP. I will send you one, single text every Sunday with a link to the latest blog.)