Crippled CEO Blog #082:
Happy Mother’s Day, y’all.
My mom is dead.
As a person with a dead mom, I have some insight that I think it might be useful for you folks out here with moms who are all alive and what not.
Moms are people. And in general, I don’t think we put enough thought or importance into the massive impact the people we allow into our lives have on us, and act on that accordingly.
So, if your mom happens to be a legitimately awful human who, overall, harms your life, you should remove her. Even though she is your mom. As a child, you didn’t have much choice but to endure her, and you’re going to live with the damage that caused. But you don’t need to feel obligated to keep her in your circle just because she is your mom. You’re not doing anybody any favors. If she sucks, get rid of her.
Most moms don’t suck, however. Most moms range from pretty decent to totally awesome. Mine was actually totally awesome. I lucked out big time.
If your mom falls in the pretty decent range — if she isn’t harming your life, but she’s not the best — here’s my advice, as a person with a dead mom: Try really hard to enjoy her as much as possible. This can be challenging even if you have an awesome mom, because they can be pretty annoying, but do it anyways. Because your time is limited. My mom, who was amazing and I liked a lot, lived right across the street from me for years. I could have gone over there every day. I didn’t. There were times I probably didn’t see her once a week. I really wish that I had spent more time. You have the opportunity to get right the thing that I messed up. And not just on Mother’s Day, though that’s a good start, but consistently and regularly. Make her a priority. There’s a good chance that she makes you her priority. You can at least reciprocate some of the way.
My mom wasn’t big on Mother’s Day. She felt bad for moms who got all bent out of shape because their child didn’t do enough for the holiday. She thought that if your whole relationship hinged on just one single day, you had much deeper issues going on. She was a pretty wise lady.
Long story long: if your mom hurts your life, stop taking her calls. Remove her from your life. If she’s not harming you, try really hard to spend enjoyable time with her. You’ll be glad you did.
(My mom is dead, but you know who felt really alive this Mother’s Day? Your mom, that’s who. That lady is going to need to go to church for forgiveness. If you haven’t yet subscribed to get a text from me each week with the latest blog post link, you, too, can be forgiven. Just send a text with the word CRIP to the number 484848. It will make your mom proud, I promise.)