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Crippled CEO Blog #091:

Under the particular style of neon lights that you only get in a governmental conference room, seated around a long rectangle, they were… debating. Arguing, really. 

It was 1988. 

The building was the Broward County Health Department. 

And the topic was children drowning in pools. 

Drowning prevention advocates and “experts” from a myriad of disciplines were present — swim instructors, survival swim instructors, pool builders, pool alarm manufacturers, water safety nonprofits, representatives from the Broward County Health Department, and so on. Also present was the owner of a tiny, brand new company called Life Saver Pool Fence. He was my dad, Robert Lupton. 

They were arguing over which method should be the one everyone agreed was the best way to prevent drownings, which one should be promoted and rallied behind. The pool builder said that parent supervision was the answer. People just needed to watch their kids. The pool alarm folks argued why alarms were best. The swim instructors explained why training the child was the most important. 

And meanwhile, my dad stayed quiet. Eventually, someone turned to him and said, half joking, “I’m sure you think pool fences are the answer, right?”

He took a minute, paused, and shook his head. “No, I don’t.” 

The room peered at him quizzically. 

“I think you need all of them. I think the safest thing is for people to install multiple layers of protection.”

And just like that, the concept of layers of protection for pool safety, the foundation for all modern pool safety strategies, was born. The idea of multiple layers of protection is today taught and advocated by every drowning prevention expert and every water safety organization. 

A year later, he would write a book on childproofing the home, and the idea of using layers of protection to make the pool safer was put in writing for the first time. 

And while that is a very cool fact, that isn’t the point of my blog this week. 

My dad proposed this idea because he really did think it was the best solution, and he really did care deeply about water safety.

But he was also a businessman, and this new concept had another benefit, as well. As soon as everyone agreed, all of the other people sitting at that table stopped being competitors, and suddenly became allies. The cause of drowning prevention was now stronger because everybody could now work together. By taking a step back, getting above the debate, and reframing the perspective, he found a creative win-win for everyone. And the only thing that changed was the way everyone in the room approached the problem. 

This kind of thing is possible more often than we think. Lots of times, we are debating for option one, two, or three, when the real best answer is something entirely different, and requires asking a different question. 

And you will know when you find it, because these kinds of ideas, that reshape the problem and solve it beautifully, seem obvious once presented. In fact, when you say it, the people around you will act as if it is obvious, so obvious that it doesn’t seem like a novel, original thought — as if it was the answer the entire time. That’s how you know you’ve got it. 

(Your mom doesn’t want any layers of protection with me, and quite frankly, it’s concerning. One thing she does want, though, and you should as well, is a text from me every Sunday. Send a text to the number 484848 with the word CRIP as the message to sign up to get a link to the newest blog each week.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #090:

Nobody likes being sold to.

No one likes a sales person.

Even just the word “salesman” has a negative connotation. No one uses that title on their business cards anymore because we all know that it’s a “bad thing”.

 But that lady at the garden store who knows everything there is to know about orchids? We like her. The hairstylist who can explain, in detail, the multiple session process you will need to go through to get the color you want, and she’s correct? We like her as well. The guy at the hardware store that can tell you exactly what kind of screw you need for that specific application? He’s awesome.

All of these people are using their words to sell you something. But we don’t think of them as sales people.

Chances are that they don’t think of themselves as sales people, either.

These people are a resource. We love resources. Resources are here to help us, not impose their will upon us. Resources have a skill or expertise they have earned over time. Resources give, not take. They advise, not convince. 

We all hate to be sold to, but we love to buy. 

Being a sales person is easier short term. You need to be knowledgeable, but not as knowledgeable as you have to be to be a resource. 

But being a resource is easier, and more profitable, in the long term. People come to you, not the other way around. People choose you even when you are more expensive. People tell their friends about you when they have a problem. You create relationships, not just transactions.

I’ve read some of the highest touted books on “selling” and I’m sure I’ve picked up some useful ideas in them, but I think every for every hour spent getting better at selling, you’d be better off spending 30 minutes becoming more of an expert, more of a resource. Knowing the three most important steps to close a deal don’t matter nearly as much when people are going to choose you regardless. 

(You know who never has to try to sell me? Your mom. She’s a resource I’m always buying from. She also enjoys getting a resource texted to her every Sunday. Send a text to the number 484848 with the word CRIP in the body and I’ll send you one, too.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #089:

I listen to a lot of audiobooks.

I figured out the secret (for me) is to stack the habit of listening to the audiobook on top of something I’m going to do anyways.

I put an Alexa near my bathroom. And whenever I come in to tinkle, I tell her to play my audiobook. 

This process takes me five or six minutes, so that’s all I listen for, but I do it every time. Every day. And I have consumed a decent number of audiobooks this way.

Connecting one habit to another is a great way to start a new routine.

I’m going to attach screenshots of all of my recent listens for you all to look through. The ones highlighted/circled are the books that aren’t about running a business and are good for everybody. I would only recommend the rest of them if you’re currently running an organization. 

If you’ve read/listened to any of these, let me know your favorite. If you have a book you think I should check out, please let me know.

(Do you know who reads me like a book? Your mom. She’s also a genius who signed up to get a weekly text message from me with a link to the latest blog. Just send a text to the number 484848 with the word CRIP as the message and you can, too.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #088:

One of my favorite podcasters is MIT professor, AI researcher, jiu jitsu black belt, and incredible psychopath Lex Fridman. 

Recently, Lex and his guest were discussing mimetic desire.

Mimetic desire is a bourgeoisie term for the observation that we learn to want the things we see other people wanting. 

Mimetic, like mime or mimic, plus desire, as in want, equals mimetic desire. 

Apparently, memetic desire is hardwired into our lizard brains.

We all kind of know this, right? There is a reason that people spend a lot of money on Supreme stuff, and it has nothing to do with the quality of their shovels. 

Now, at first glance, this idea is a bit depressing, and even a bit insulting. The insinuation is that we are incapable of our own original desires. We just want the things, the moments, the relationships, the careers, and so on that other people have deemed desirable.

And if you think about it a bit further, you then realize that if we want what other people want, conflict is inevitable. This phenomenon means we are often competing for the same things. 

So, armed with this information, what do we do about it?

Well, the wrong thing to do is try and fight it. This thing is baked in deep. Attempting to battle behavior forged over millions of years of evolution is a fight you are going to lose. You are better off accepting it and making peace with it: you are going to want the things you observe other people wanting. 

The good news is that once you have accepted this, you have a very powerful opportunity.

You get to use this to decide the person you want to be.

Because at the end of the day, we are the sum of our desires. The job we want, the partner we want, the house we want, the lifestyle we want, the body we want, the abilities we want — the first step to becoming is WANTING. You can’t learn Mandarin until you decide you are a person who wants to learn Mandarin. Lifting heavy weights every day to become a bodybuilder is either a great idea or really dumb, and it depends entirely on what you want.

The secret, then, is to find the kinds of people who want what you want to want. If you think you want to be a person who travels, go join some travel groups on Facebook. Follow some professional travelers on YouTube. Make friends with people who aspire to travel. I guarantee you that seeing and hearing other people talk about the places they want to travel to will focus your desires, and if you stay in these groups long enough, it’s just a matter of time before you are boarding an airplane yourself.

If you join a group of long distance runners, chances are, you are going to start wanting to eat healthier, because they want to eat healthier.

You can use this tick that is programmed into your psyche to hack your motivation and help you shape your life for the better. 

And you should, because this is happening whether you do it consciously or not. If your friends are all people whose main desire is to cheat the government, then soon that will be your goal as well.

And if you’re not sure what you want, when you see people living an awesome life, try to get to know them. And the friends you have who aren’t living awesome lives, try to stop knowing them, too. 

Become the pilot of your wants and motivations. They don’t have to be arbitrary. You get to choose. Why not choose things that are amazing?

(You know whose desires I like to mimic? Your mom. She also desires to get a text from me every Sunday. You should copy her in this. Just send a text message to the number 484848 with the word CRIP as the body of the message and I’ll send you a link to the latest blog every week.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #087:

I’ve made a recent observation that getting to know me well frequently means that your entire life is going to change. 

You weren’t planning to change your career, your residence, or your relationship status, but you get to know me, and suddenly your life is being transformed for the better. 

Of all the things that I like about myself, this is probably the thing I’m most proud of. This realization has made me reevaluate my purpose. 

You might be wondering what I’m talking about, so I’m going to embarrass some people and give abridged examples.

Casey Buckley, my oldest friend, never planned on owning a pool fence business, but after selling his last enterprise, that’s exactly what I talked him into doing, and due to his hard work, dedication, and intelligence, he is now the owner of one of the top pool fence installation companies on Earth. 

After getting to know the wonderful Kate well, when she expressed displeasure at her job, I convinced her to come find a home in the Life Saver office. Nearly a decade later, she continues to do amazing there, and now her husband earns his living with Life Saver, as well, and is also crushing it. 

My other BFF, Michael McGahee, wasn’t sure what he was going to do when he came back from Chicago. Life Saver’s office made a role for him, and then for his wife, too. 

Mr. Michael Doscher came over to install a TV for me. After that project was completed, I recruited him to do additional work around my house. I mentioned to him that my roommate was into him, and now they’ve been dating for almost 2 years. Oh, and despite loving the job he had, I helped him level up… to Life Saver, where he’s coming up on a year of blissful employment. 

His girlfriend, my roommate, Lauren has been living with me for seven years, which is a role she probably didn’t expect to fill when we initially met. The man I hired as my chess coach didn’t know he would be starting a pool fence dealership in St. Louis and also becoming our CFO a year later, either. 

There are a bunch of other smaller stories, like Gizmo moving in to my parents’ former house across the street to be my neighbor. 

So I’ve helped people get careers, significant others, and places to live, what’s my point? Would I like a cookie? First, yes. I do want a cookie. 

But my point is that this has all only been possible because I helped myself first.

It’s only after climbing the ladder myself that I could steady it for the next person and help them climb up. 

If you want to be a force of positive change in the lives of those closest to you, you need to first change your own life. We all know the metaphor of putting the oxygen mask on ourselves first on a plane before assisting the person next to us. Despite this, we often have a hard time doing it in practice.

And if you are in a position to help, if you have the oxygen mask on yourself, then you have an obligation to assist the person next to you. If your life is going great, and you don’t see the people closest to you having their lives transformed by knowing you, what is going on? Why aren’t you positively impacting the people in your life? Chances are there are ways that you can, you just need to be willing to try. 

Because the real secret to all of this is that the life that has been most transformed through all these people’s upgrades… is mine. 

(Your mom also likes making a transformation. It involves cosplay and leather. She also gets my weekly text message with a link directly to the most recent blog article. You can sign up for this text by sending a message to the phone number 484848 with the word CRIP in the body of the text.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #086:

We see people always on the move, always in a hurry, always busy, and we think, “That’s success.”

The cause of success and the result of success: constant, non-stop hustling. Picking the phone up every free moment to check and send that email. 

And then there’s the cousin to this: the person with the totally booked calendar. Virtually inaccessible. So busy. 

So IMPORTANT. 

We are envious of this. It looks so appealing. And we feel guilty if we aren’t doing the same, so we, too, create ways to be busier. 

Because we all know that working hard means getting ahead, and therefore working harder means getting ahead further, and being busy is working. 

I’m going to tell you a secret: I’m not that busy. If you call me, I will probably answer. If you want to meet tomorrow or in a couple hours, 70% of the time, I am probably available.

I’m allegedly pretty successful. 

So, why aren’t I booked solid with tasks, meetings, and appointments?

The first one is easy to overlook, but arguably the most important. I don’t want to be. While the idea of that does look appealing, in reality, it’s not an enjoyable way to live life.

But besides that, I also don’t think it’s the best way to be successful. 

The reality is that you only need to get a few things right. There might be only one or two things in a given day that are really going to move the needle and impact your business. And if you are busy with less important stuff, there’s an excellent chance that you might miss out on the most critical things. Without the breathing room to think, step back, and assess, you might be too stuck in the desert to see the cacti. Or however that saying goes. Getting stuff done is great, but if it’s not stuff that’s truly pushing things forward, you might actually be better off doing nothing, and not wasting the energy and mental bandwidth that may have led to an important new idea. 

And this is hard to do. It’s especially hard when you have your phone with you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

The other big benefit to not being fully booked every hour of every day is you leave yourself open to meetings and opportunities and conversations that could be far more worthwhile than the things you put in that space just to fill your calendar. I can’t tell you how many TV interviews, big clients, and so on I have gotten because I was free right away. Being busy and inaccessible means you are also inaccessible to the occasional random gems life throws at you. Missing out on these isn’t worth looking important to people you don’t like anyways.

So, stop envying the busy people. If you get done the one really important thing that really matters every day, you will soar past them in no time.

(Do you know who always wants to keep me busy? Your mom. And I’m never too busy for her. She’s also never too busy to get my weekly text message. You, too, can get a link to the latest blog each week by sending a message to 484848 with the word CRIP as the body of the text.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #085:

Way back in Crippled CEO Blog #08, I said that your name and logo don’t matter. And with the exception of possibly a lifestyle brand, where the logo and brand aesthetic are the actual product being offered, I continue to stand by that.

What I did say, though, is that even though the content of the logo does not matter, the one thing that actually IS important is that it is done well. The concept is unimportant. It just needs to be executed professionally so as to convey that you are a legitimate company that knows what it is doing. 

In this blog post, I’m going to walk you through exactly how to get that done. This is exactly how I created the current logos for Life Saver Pool Fence, Child Safety Store, the National Drowning Prevention Alliance, and a gang of others. 

The key to this process is 99designs. 

99designs lets you host a contest that designers around the world will participate in. You determine how much the prize will be (more on that in a bit), and they get to work sending you dozens and dozens of ideas that you get to comment on, refine, and see improved. 

It’s great. 

For roughly the cost of a professional designer, or maybe even less, depending on who you use, you get an army of design brains working for you. The problem with hiring just one designer is that they are only going to send you a few ideas, and they are only going to be able to revise those ideas so many times. And often, even if they are talented, a sometimes particular designer just can’t give you that thing that you’re looking for. Logos are like faces. It’s hard to describe which ones you’ll like. You just know a pretty one when you see it. 

Not only do you get a ton of different ideas, because there are so many people working on it,  but the speed at which they iterate and evolve is crazy. I’m currently using 99designs to help the brilliant and callipygous Talynz Lockwood* (more about her at the end) create the logo for her new brand, and in less than two days, she has just over 100 designs submitted — and they’re starting to look really good. 

So, step 1 is to go to 99designs and create an account and what not. 

Find and click all of the things that lead to you creating a new logo contest.

Now, this moves at a rapid pace, so only start this contest at a time when you know are you going to be able to check it, review submissions, rate them, and occasionally provide feedback several times a day, every day, for about a week. If you work Monday through Friday, consider starting it on a Sunday, so that you can start checking the submissions on Monday.

When you start the contest, you are going to be asked for some information on what you want. You are going to pick some examples of the kind of thing you’re looking for, and there’s also a bunch of sliders. Do your best on this, but don’t stress too heavily. The direction and feedback you give during the contest will be a lot more important.

Do keep in mind, though, that the designers are trying really hard to please you, and they listen very well. If you say that you like the color green, all of the logos are going to be very green.

Probably the most important part of this is the section where you type a description of what you’re looking for. Try your best to give as much information as you can. If you have a specific idea, give it to them. Don’t just keep it to yourself and see if somebody comes up with it. They won’t. Also, keep the language clear and simple. Most of the designers do not speak English as their first language. Avoid euphemisms or expressions. Use language that will probably work in a Google translate.

During this process, there are a couple important options I recommend selecting. For one, guarantee the contest. I promise that you are going to get a logo that you’re happy with. More designers will throw their hat in the ring if they know that somebody is definitely going to win. Since you’re going to pay anyways, you might as well say that you will.

Also, DO NOT make the contest blind. One of the best parts about this is that the designers get to see each other’s designs and your feedback. They copy off of each other. You want this. This environment creates this sort of hive mind effect where they all learn what you want and improve together, feeding off of each other’s ideas.

You’re also going to select a prize amount here. If you can afford it, the gold package for $899 is still less than many pro designers, and you’re going to get a ton of excellent work. If that is too steep for you, you’ll still be just fine for any of the packages over $300. 

Once the contest gets going, you’re going to start receiving submissions. The first batch are going to be bad. This is an important thing to realize, because it’s easy to get discouraged. There is a steep hockey stick type curve to the quality. Rate all of the ones you dislike with 1 star. Give the ones you like better two or three stars and comment on those letting them know what you liked. If you’re seeing a trend or everybody is in the totally wrong direction, go to messages and send a message to everyone with more instructions and feedback.

Some of the logo designs are going to be over a background of some kind, either to show what it will look like out in the wild or just to make it stand out. Try to ignore those backgrounds. The background isn’t part of the logo.

Pretty soon, you will start to see a few designs that are closer to what you want. Rate those higher. Give feedback. The other designers will use that information to improve as well. This process will create a positive feedback loop and the designs will start getting really good really fast. 

After a few days, you’ll have to pick your six favorite designers. Chances are, there are a few different categories of designs. I try to pick the best one from each style, and then have them refine. 

After you pick your six finalists, you will continue to give critiques and get new designs. At this point, start asking to see the design in both full color and single color. You want both and you’ll be asking for both from the winner. 

Eventually, the time will run out, and you will have to make your selection. 99designs lets you make a poll that you can post on social media or send to your friends. I found this to be really helpful. 

Once you pick your winner, you’ll still be able to fine-tune and tweak the design a little bit before giving your final approval. Make sure that you receive the logo in all of the image formats — JPG, PDF, PNG, PSD, EPS, and AI — in high resolution in both full color and single color (black and white). If your logo includes an image that can be either beside or above your logo, have the designer send it to you both ways.

Once you have everything you need, click the confirmation on the website and release your money. Congratulations! You have a new logo. And it is professionally done and well executed, the only aspect of it that really matters. 

Now get back to work doing something that actually improves your business.

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Talynz Lockwood creates custom, one of a kind, high end nail art using state of the art techniques and cutting edge technology. If you want nails that are better and different than everyone else, that will get you compliments and start conversations, she is your person. She also teaches fitness classes including barre Pilates and a widely acclaimed twerk class — a fun way to add callipygian to your list of attributes. You can contact her about any and all of those things here: https://instagram.com/acetoneitdown

(You know who also lets dozens of people work on her at the same time? Your mom. I’m just happy to be one of them. Your mom also loves getting a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog. You can get this as well by sending a message to 484848 with the word CRIP as the message.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #084:

“I said I would, so I did.”

I sent this as a text to my hair slicer after paying her to do a quick clean-up to my friend’s neck. She said I didn’t have to do that. She was happy to do it for free. 

But I said I would, so I did. 

And when I looked at the message, I realized that sentence could be a philosophy for living a life. 

How often do we say that we’re going to do things, but then never do?

For ourselves. For others.

How often do promises and good intentions just fall to the wayside and get forgotten and lost?

I think it happens pretty often.

I know that it can be a problem for me. I used to be worse. Now, if I tell someone I’m going to do something, you can pretty much guarantee I’m going to get it done. But I’m still pretty bad at doing the things I tell myself that I will do, the things I want to do for me.

It can be easy to justify. You can rationalize that the person you promised a thing to won’t mind, or that they can wait a little longer. If that’s not true, and you’re lucky, they will tell you. If you are fortunate, your friend will reach out to you and inform you that this promise meant a lot to them, and maybe give you a second chance. If you’re not lucky, you will never know how badly you disappointed them or affected them. You won’t know that they don’t trust you anymore.

And you can try and rationalize the things you were supposed to do for yourself, as well. Maybe it wasn’t a great idea. Or maybe you’ll get to it eventually.

But how different would your life be if you just did all the things you said you would? How less overwhelmed would you feel, if you stopped and considered, really carefully, before you offered your help to somebody, or said yes to a request?

How different would your reputation be if people knew that they could trust your word in the same way they trust the Sun rising every morning? What new opportunities might open up for you?

I said I would, so I did.

This can be you. If you are careful with your word, and then a zealot about keeping it, this can be a thing that you can tell people.

And you might be surprised the impact it has on your life.

(I can’t even type out the promises that your mom keeps to me. Phew. One promise that I try to keep is sending out a text message every Sunday with a link to the latest blog. You can get this link, also, if you send a message with the word CRIP to the number 484848. I think you’ll be glad that you did.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #083:

Fake it ‘til you make it. 

I think we have all heard this phrase before.

The idea is to present yourself as successful until you actually are successful. In business, this often means portraying your company as larger than it is in order to garner trust or respect.

I think this is a bad idea.

For starters, I think deception in general is a pretty bad idea, but even that aside, I think there is a pragmatic reason to avoid this tactic. 

If you “fake it ‘til you make it,” if you pretend to be further along than you actually are, then you rob people of the opportunity to be invested in your journey. One of the best ways to get people excited about what you’re doing is to let them see you when you started, and allow them to follow along as you go. People love rooting for an underdog. People love seeing someone work hard, then be successful. This kind of investment creates loyal evangelists for your business, cause, or brand. 

Also, if you’re honest about where you are in your journey, and you are sharing that story, people will be more understanding when you have a difficulty, or even if you let them down. They know what you’re going through. And, if you’re honest, you get to ask for help when you need it — something you can’t do if you’re pretending that you’ve already made it. Not only do you get to ask for help, but you give the people invested in you the opportunity to help you of their own volition when they see something that they can do. The already successful aren’t going to get this kind of assistance. 

It is tempting to present yourself to the world as already thriving and on top, but just as your mother used to say, honesty really is the best policy, and in this case, it’s also the smartest thing to do.

(You know who never has to fake it? Your mom. She also gets a text from me every Sunday with a link to the latest blog because she sent a text message to the number 484848 with the word CRIP as the message. You could do that, too, you know.)

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Crippled CEO Blog #082:

Happy Mother’s Day, y’all. 

My mom is dead. 

As a person with a dead mom, I have some insight that I think it might be useful for you folks out here with moms who are all alive and what not.

Moms are people. And in general, I don’t think we put enough thought or importance into the massive impact the people we allow into our lives have on us, and act on that accordingly. 

So, if your mom happens to be a legitimately awful human who, overall, harms your life, you should remove her. Even though she is your mom. As a child, you didn’t have much choice but to endure her, and you’re going to live with the damage that caused. But you don’t need to feel obligated to keep her in your circle just because she is your mom. You’re not doing anybody any favors. If she sucks, get rid of her. 

Most moms don’t suck, however. Most moms range from pretty decent to totally awesome. Mine was actually totally awesome. I lucked out big time.

If your mom falls in the pretty decent range — if she isn’t harming your life, but she’s not the best — here’s my advice, as a person with a dead mom: Try really hard to enjoy her as much as possible. This can be challenging even if you have an awesome mom, because they can be pretty annoying, but do it anyways. Because your time is limited. My mom, who was amazing and I liked a lot, lived right across the street from me for years. I could have gone over there every day. I didn’t. There were times I probably didn’t see her once a week. I really wish that I had spent more time. You have the opportunity to get right the thing that I messed up. And not just on Mother’s Day, though that’s a good start, but consistently and regularly. Make her a priority. There’s a good chance that she makes you her priority. You can at least reciprocate some of the way.

My mom wasn’t big on Mother’s Day. She felt bad for moms who got all bent out of shape because their child didn’t do enough for the holiday. She thought that if your whole relationship hinged on just one single day, you had much deeper issues going on. She was a pretty wise lady. 

Long story long: if your mom hurts your life, stop taking her calls. Remove her from your life. If she’s not harming you, try really hard to spend enjoyable time with her. You’ll be glad you did. 

(My mom is dead, but you know who felt really alive this Mother’s Day? Your mom, that’s who. That lady is going to need to go to church for forgiveness. If you haven’t yet subscribed to get a text from me each week with the latest blog post link, you, too, can be forgiven. Just send a text with the word CRIP to the number 484848. It will make your mom proud, I promise.)

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